Free Your Child (and Yourself) from Blame

by Scott Noelle
Q:  If my 6-year-old deliberately throws her plateful of food on the floor, and all I do is hold presence, isn’t that teaching her that the behavior is okay?

A:  She already knows that you think it’s “not okay” and, in a way, that’s why she does it! She feels disconnected from her power and is trying to reconnect by pushing your buttons. So you need to show her that such behavior is unnecessary, not unacceptable.

When you hold presence with your own upset feelings instead of resorting to blame and reprimand, you heal the separation between you and your power. You’re teaching her that Authentic Power comes from within — that the behavior has no real power. And you’re modeling emotional intelligence.

Improve Your Groove

Today, free your child from blame and give yourself the gift of healing: hold presence with your feelings about unwanted behavior instead of reacting to it. Once you feel connected to your own power, you can help your child get connected, too.

Originally published on 2015-03-04
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