Presence: The Cure for Blame

by Scott Noelle

“Blame assigns wrongness to others,
but Presence transforms it into
healing and wisdom.”

This quotation comes from Ending the Blame Game (5-minute read), which I highly recommend. Once you understand how the game works, you’ll be less inclined to play it, and it’ll stop sucking the life out of your relationships.

Improve Your Groove

Today, let’s practice the skill of holding presence: the ability to accept and stay with unpleasant feelings — instead of reacting to them — long enough for them to transform into something beneficial.

Throughout the day, notice when you feel mildly uncomfortable, like when it starts to rain, or when someone tells you a joke you don’t think is funny, or your child picks his/her nose in public.

Instead of avoiding or resisting these feelings, deliberately stay with them. Pause and take a breath, let go of your thoughts about whatever it is, and then just be still and sense into whatever feelings are present — wherever you feel them in your body — for at least 15 to 30 seconds.

How does holding presence with unpleasant feelings transform your experience of them?

Originally published on 2015-03-02
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