Pivoting to Partnership
In any relationship, at any given moment, you’re in a position of...
- power-over (dominance/control),
- power-under (being dominated/controlled), or
- power-with (partnership).
When you feel powerless and stuck in a
“Control feels better than powerlessness,
but it’s nothing compared to the power of partnership.”
Improve Your Groove
Today, pay attention to your emotions and notice that many “negative” emotions — like fear, worry, or even mild annoyance — are often followed by an impulse to control another person such as your child, spouse, or co-worker.
Controlling usually has major downsides, like sucking the fun out of a relationship, but underlying the impulse to control is a very healthy drive toward self-empowerment. So rather than suppressing the impulse, you need to redirect it from controlling to partnering.
As soon as you feel the impulse, pause and take a moment to appreciate your drive toward empowerment. Then tell yourself that you deserve more than the fleeting pseudo-power of control; you want to connect with your authentic power through partnership. You want to enjoy being powerful with the other person!
You might be surprised at how easily you can transform a “negative” emotion into a positive, pleasing, powerful connection.
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