Every Experience Is a Gift

by Scott Noelle

Perfectionistic parenting is rooted in the false idea that it’s bad to make a mistake or fall short of one’s expectations.

But if you think about it, you can derive value from any experience — no matter how “bad” it is or how much pain it involves — IF you’re willing to look for the hidden gifts.

The one gift found in every negative experience is that it sharpens the contrast between what you want and don’t want, giving you an opportunity to focus more powerfully on your desire.

When you fall short of your parenting ideals, you may be tempted to indulge in guilt or self-deprecation. But then you’d be modeling violence against self and attracting more negative experiences.

Improve Your Groove

Today, if you find yourself facing unwanted circumstances, or failing to uphold your own standards, ask yourself, “What is the gift for me in this experience?”

Such gifts are more obvious in hindsight, but why not enjoy them now?

Originally published on 2006-09-25
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