Have a REALLY Nice Day! :)

by Scott Noelle

Authentic children, knowing their inherent worthiness, shamelessly ask for everything they want. Parents who’ve bought into the Rule of Nice feel obliged to fulfill their children’s wishes and eventually feel overwhelmed.

At this point, many “nice” parents snap and become mean... followed by guilt... leading to more false niceness. And the nice-mean-guilty cycle repeats.

Some parents find relief by persuading their children to want less. This seems benign but the end result is the children believing there is something wrong with them: “I want something... but I shouldn’t want it... I must be unworthy.”

Lasting relief for everyone begins with quitting the niceness game. When you don’t “have to” be nice, you may discover that you want to be nice!

Even if you choose not to “give in,” you can stand in a place of knowing that they — and you — are worthy of satisfaction. That’s the place where creativity flourishes!

Originally published on 2006-05-29
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