Lessons from the Stream

by Scott Noelle

Imagine you are sitting quietly beside a babbling brook, simply watching the water make its way downstream.

There are heavy rocks in the water’s path, but the water is not blocked. It just flows around each rock.

There’s never a fight for the right of way. The water and the rock are more like dance partners, and the steadiness of the rock is precisely what the water needs to complement her leaps and turns.

Can you see that?

In your relationships — especially with your children and significant others — you can turn confrontations into dances by deliberately complementing your partners’ states.

When they’re like a rock — “stubborn” or “uncooperative” — you can be like water and lovingly flow around them after a brief pas de deux.

When they’re splashing into you like water, you can become a rock and lovingly provide a solid presence — or a clear boundary — into and around which they can dance and flow.

In either role, there is no resistance — no “should” or “shouldn’t,” no blame or shame — just pure acceptance, presence, and play.

Improve Your Groove

Today, pay attention to your partners’ states, and be willing to embody the complementary state when the situation calls for it.

Enjoy the dance!

Originally published on 2015-01-12
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