Confidently Uncertain

by Scott Noelle

When parents are confident, centered, and certain, their children tend to feel more secure, relaxed, and cooperative.

But as parents on the leading edge — constantly blazing new trails and facing the unknown — how can we be certain our choices are right? (Answer: We can’t.)

The trick is to practice the paradoxical art of being confidently uncertain.

Instead of pretending you know what you’re doing (which doesn’t work), you enthusiastically embrace your cluelessness! Then you focus on your ability to find your way...

“I have NO IDEA how to handle this situation! But I know I can figure it out. I’ve faced the unknown and found my way before, and I can do it again.”

This works for kids because their security is based on feelings rather than logic. They can feel your confident vibe, and that’s enough.

Improve Your Groove

Today, make a list of your personal journeys from clueless to competent. Recall these whenever you’re uncertain and want to feel confident anyway.

Originally published on 2006-10-27
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